Archive for February, 2008
Ok it seemed like a good idea at the time, of course thats how all stories that end badly start.
I like birds, I like feeding the birds and where I used to live we had lots of big trees and shrubs and telephone wires for the little (and not so little) birdies to sit on.
So I had five bird feeders out in the back yard, one big one shaped like a old red barn, another made from a pop bottle, and a couple of smaller plastic ones that I had in the smaller trees for the smaller birds.
I went thought over one hundred pounds of bird seed in the winter season, they loved the black striped sunflower seeds, and so did the squirrels .
But of course that was to be expected, loss of feed by rodent is a sad but relvent fact of life for any bird lovers .
So I did what I could to keep the little bastard out of my feeders, scraps of tin and plastic to block there way, self closing doors on the feeder to keep them out , grease on the poles to impede their climbing. I even started thinking of using a high voltage Tesla coil to fry the little buggers, but thought better after a slight electrical problem with the prototype . ( Yes high voltage can cause hair to smoke). Guns were out of the question , I do live in Canada!
So I ended up going to chemical war fare, this was to be a no holds bared, fight to the finish there was to be no mercy! I looked on line and found a sure fire solution to the squirrel problem. Capsicum pepper.
This stuff is hot! This is what is used in pepper spray, very nasty!
Just what I needed.
,I followed the direction on the package , I mixed 6 ounces of the pure capsicum pepper power to fifty pounds of bird seed taking care to wear a mask and do the mixing in a well ventilated area, hey I always read the instructions!
And so with the new mix in the feeder I waited eagerly for the bastard rodents to start their feeding, boy were they in for a surprise!
Oh ya there was a surprise all right! Canadian black squirrels love spicy food! I kid you not, the were chowing down on the stuff faster than before! I gave up , I figured it would be easer to let them clean out one easy to reach feeder than to try to keep them out of all the feeders, so that what I did it worked, and there was peace in the land!
But they wanted revenge, they did not like being toyed with , so they hatched the plan of revenge!
I like to take a walk in the winter on a hiking trail that s not too far from where I used to live, so many people go to feed the birds that chickadees will follow you and land on you to see if you have any thing for them.
So on a sunny winter afternoon I took a walk with a pocket full of bird seed, it was fun and relaxing to have the chickadees and blue jays landing on you and eating out of you hand. At peace with nature, enjoying the day.
Until I got an itch in my eye, I went to scratch the itch, oh shit….oh shit…oh shit.
My eye was on fire, it sealed its self shut with a fiery pain that was like nothing I had ever felt! I brought my hands up to may face to try to stop the pain……..oh crap, the other eye.Shit Shit Shit! Now I was in lots of pain , I cant open my eyes I cant see, and I don’t dare to touch my face until I can clean my hands.
Oh did I mention I was in the middle of the woods , I had walked about three kilometers in to the woods, oh and it was the middle of the week , so the place was very empty.
Oh shit indeed!
The little bastards were having their revenge, I was on my knees tears streaming out my eyes , but unable to open them to see, and the pain, the pain!
I never want to piss of a cop , capsicum pepper is a bitch.
Well I finally calmed down , washed my hands in the snow, then my eyes, it wasn’t perfect, but I could see well enough to walk back the car and by the time I got to the car the fire in my eyes was down low enough I could see to drive but felt warm enough to toast marshmallows, I went home to finish crying.
My eyes were red for a couple of days , and when asked, I started out by saying “I had this idea…”
I really do hate the “C” word.
No I’m not talking about the crass and vulgar term used to describe part of a womans anatomy or personalty, No not that “C” word.
I’m talking about the other one, cancer.
I just found out that one of my favorite Aunts has stomach cancer, and they really cant do to much for her.
Well ok, they can do kemo and a new drug therapy, but surgery just wont help at this point.
I’m not a doctor and I really have no idea how these things work, maybe thats why I feel like I do , you know the feeling , you want desperately to help, but there is nothing you can do , so you look for other was to help but at this point there is still nothing you can do , so you end up feeling helpless and frustrated.
Yep feeling like shit.
And being one of the younger kids in the family, and the only guy left, well, I really want to be able to do something, its like I have this duty to fulfill.
Ya old fashond, but I think my heart is in the right place .
So now we wait, see what further tests and therapys will do,I have faith in science and medicine and mans ability to solve problems. But there are time when you have to deal with the card that have been dealt.
So for now we wait and see what happens next.